During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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