morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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