this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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