I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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