we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize