i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
