Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize