My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
