Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
