apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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