The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
