it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
