That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
please come you make the beer taste better
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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