I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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