I heard we made out
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
