It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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