Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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