sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize