tell your sister to shave her snatch
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
