He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
nutella sex= disaster
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
