You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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