ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
