Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
