We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
