i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
