You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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