i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
