Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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