i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
