Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
