She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
