I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
