maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
