OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize