My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
