well I can't set my house on fire every night
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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