i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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