i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Randomize
