My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Your penis caused this!
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