it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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