i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
