its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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