There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
