He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I need to calm my uterus...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize