i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
