It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
