So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
People in love make me want to vomit
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
