Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
