I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
