Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So gin and wine won't be happening again
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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