Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
