Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
17 year olds will be the death of me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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