shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
