so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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