so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We are two peas in an std pod
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
