How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
