I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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