I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
