Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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