I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
